Adventures In Crème Patissiere

1927, Laurel and Hardy, The Battle of the Century. You can see the whole thing on YouTube.

A cream pie in the face is…well, it’s quite frankly a criminal waste of a cream pie. 

I love cream pie.  Specifically, I love banana cream pie, although I wouldn’t turn down a lemon cream pie either.  I always thought it was difficult to make…fussy, I guess.  Technically, cream pie is made with crème patissiere, not custard.  And since I watch a lot of The Great British Bakeoff and have seen many competitors come to grief over “creme pat”, I just assumed it was tricky.  But…turns out, it’s not.  Not tricky, not hard, not fussy, not difficult.  But it is delicious.  So today, I present to you the general method for making crème patissiere for banana cream pie, followed by recipes for banana, chocolate, peanut butter, and lemon cream pie. (A dear friend of mine who is not a fan of lemon (?!?) pointed out that lime could be substituted for lemon.)

You start with a pan on the stove, to which you add your sugar, cornstarch, and salt.  Whisk those together, then add in your eggs and whisk until smooth. 

Add  your milk and cream and whisk again.  Then turn on the heat to about medium and whisk.  This is absolutely critical; at no point can you stop whisking.  Fortunately, it doesn’t take long to thicken up (usually somewhere between 10 and 15 minutes), so you won’t have to worry about arm cramps from non-stop pot-stirring.  For awhile, it will seem like nothing is happening.  You will noticed a vaguely egg-y smell from the creme pat (not a dessert-y smell, I’ll agree) but I promise that will pass and the end result will not taste egg-y.  After you’ve whisked for a bit, you will notice that the mixture is getting thick underneath, although the surface still seems liquid.  Keep whisking.  You will also notice that your mixture appears a bit like scrambled egg and possibly looks like it is separating.  Keep calm and whisk on.

As soon as the mixture seems uniformly thick, even if it has not started to boil, remove it from the heat, and add in your vanilla and your butter.  Whisk like your life depends on it and watch all those lumps smooth right out!  It’s like magic every time.  I’ve used the chocolate cream recipe for these pictures, as it shows the contrast well.  Lumpy; whisk in butter; smooth. 

You will then need to let it cool for a few minutes before you put it in your prepared pie crust.  Use that time to slice bananas into the bottom of your crust. You can run the creme pat through a mesh sieve before you put it in the crust, but that’s optional.  I did it the first time I made creme pat and then have never bothered again.  Before you put the pie in the fridge to cool, you will need to cover it with plastic wrap, making sure that the wrap is touching the surface of the creme pat.  This is to prevent a “skin” from forming on the surface.  Once the pie is cool (1-3 hours), you can top it with whipped cream if you like.  And by “if you like,” I mean that you absolutely should top it with whipped cream.  Utterly sublime!

See?  Easy, and the cooking doesn’t actually take very long.  The recipe below is adapted from a recipe I found on SmittenKitchen.com (I love her and own all her books). My recipe uses a prepared graham cracker crust (or Oreo crust, if you prefer) but if you choose to use traditional pie crust, be sure to blind bake it and cool it completely first.

Banana Cream Pie (and three variations)

Click here for printable PDF of recipe

INGREDIENTS

1 prepared graham cracker crust

CUSTARD

2/3 cup granulated sugar

1/3 cup cornstarch

3/4 tsp kosher salt or sea salt

2 large eggs

2 large egg yolks

2 cups whole milk

1/3 cup heavy cream

2 Tbsp unsalted butter, cut into small pieces

2 tsp vanilla extract

1-2 bananas

STABILIZED WHIPPED CREAM

1 cup heavy cream

1/4 cup sour cream*

1/4 cup powdered sugar

1 tsp vanilla extract

DIRECTIONS

Make custard: In a medium saucepan, whisk together sugar, starch, and salt. Add the eggs and yolks, whisking until smooth and no pockets of sugar-starch remain. Add the cream and the milk and whisk again. Bring mixture to a simmer over medium heat, whisking the whole time. As the custard begins to bubble, it will thicken. Simmer for one minute, whisking. Remove from heat and stir in the vanilla, then the butter until it is fully melted. Let cool for 5 minutes.

While custard is cooling, peel and slice banana into the bottom of your crust. For an extra-silky filling, pour and press the custard through a fine-mesh sieve, right over the bananas. If you don’t wish to sieve it, just spoon it in. Spread the custard into an even layer, press a piece of plastic wrap against the surface, and chill until custard is cool and set, 1 to 3 hours.

Stabilized whipped cream: In a small bowl, beat together sour cream, sugar, and vanilla until smooth. In another bowl, beat the cold whipping cream until soft peaks form. Beat in the sour cream mixture and beat to desired consistency (usually just shy of stiff peaks). Spread whipped cream over custard. Should keep 2-3 days covered in the fridge.

For peanut butter cream pie, skip the bananas and add 1/2 cup smooth peanut butter with the butter and before straining. Consider using a chocolate crust.

For chocolate cream pie, skip the bananas and add 1/4 cup cocoa powder to the dry ingredients of the custard prior to adding the liquid ingredients. Also, increase the cream from 1/3 cup to 1/2 cup. Consider using a chocolate crust.

For lemon cream pie, skip the bananas and the vanilla, increase the sugar to 3/4 cup, and add 1 Tbsp of lemon zest and 1/2 cup lemon juice. Add the zest and lemon juice with the eggs and mix thoroughly before adding the milk and cream.

*Cream cheese can be substituted for the sour cream, if that’s what you have on hand. Consider using about 4 oz, and make sure it is softened to room temperature before you beat it together with the powdered sugar.